"Maybe I'll Call It...'ATLAS HUGGED'" I said to him (the director, Max Rosenak), as we threw a baseball in Prospect Park yesterday, cool spring air, sun setting, airplanes darting through tiny clusters of clouds.
He took a pause. He gathered himself. He took a breath.
"That's an idea," he replied, as he tossed the ball back to me. "That's definitely an idea."
(I don't think he liked the idea.)
The world needs a hug. I need a hug. Maybe you do, too. At night, when I cannot sleep, when I have let YouTube play one too many videos and I feel a mounting anxiety in my chest, sometimes I will raise my two arms, just above the very tops of the sheets, and I will give myself the tenderest hug that I can muster. I stroke my upper arms up and down and in my mind I say "Shhhhh, calm down now, it's ok, now, calm down." If I'm lucky, I will drift off to sleep. I'm an adult. I have to mother and father myself now. Welcome to the world.
That is a tentative title. It is a work in progress. Reading this back to myself now, I'm definitely not going to call it that. But that's what it's called right now, as of the writing of this e-mail. Hey, I had to call it something. But in the future that's not going to be the title. No way. It's actually making me sick just thinking about it. Max was right. That's an idea and it should just stay an idea, never to be made real. Shelve it! No more ATLAS HUGGED! EW! IT'S GROSS AND IT PROBABLY REMINDS EVERYONE OF THAT TERRIBLE AUTHOR!
For the past couple of weeks, Max Rosenak and I have been meeting in Happy Lucky Number 1, an art gallery on Nostrand Avenue in Brooklyn, and trying to put together a show. It is a one person show about the creation of a show, about why it is important to speak, and also about radical silence. There will be stories, there will be heartache, there will be laughter and tears. It's very possible that Mafigliano will make an appearance. And maybe even Steve Burns, former host of "Blues Clues" will be there. And I hope that you can be there too, in an orange seat, letting me know what you think, having communion with us all.
I'm probably not going to call it ATLAS HUGGED. I don't really like the way it looks or sounds or feels.
I am doing a one person show and this is the first time I'm showing it.
I'm nervous and I'm not nervous all at once.
I hope you can make it. Here are the details.
Who: Me (directed by Max Rosenak)
What: A one person show (45 minutes to an hour) tentatively titled "Atlas Hugged" though that probably will not be the final title.
Where: happylucky no. 1, 734 Nostrand Ave. (at Nostrand and Park Place, accessible off the 2,3, 4, 5 or A trains)
When: Friday, June 2nd at 8:00pm
Why: This is what we will be exploring.